All Good News

In Church there is a family that has recently been baptized. After a month of being new members the Bishop calls them in separately to see how they are doing. During an interview with the father, the bishop asks,

“"Will you give a talk next Sunday in Church?”"

The new convert replies, “"Sure, but what would you like me to give my talk on?”"

“"On anything you feel that would be beneficial to the congregation, like past experiences and such that have changed your life in a positive way.”"

So he goes home and immediately starts thinking about what he would like to speak on. One night as he is working on his talk his wife comes up to him and asks,

"“So honey, what are you going to give your talk on?”"

"“Well, after much thought, I have decided to give a talk on water skiing.”"

“"Water skiing! What? This is Church we are talking about; you can’t give a talk on water skiing. It would be indecent!”"

“"The Bishop said I can give a talk on anything I wanted to and I want to give it on water skiing!”"

Her husband is known to be a big joker so she shrugs it off not worrying about it for the time being. As Sunday comes though, she starts to get nervous and can’t take it any longer. When they arrive at the church parking lot she says to him,

“"Alright sweetheart, the jokes over. What are you really going to give your talk on?”"

"“I was being serious; I really am going to give a talk on water skiing!”"

His wife responds, “"Well, if that’s the way you are going to be, me and the kids do not want to be embarrassed by this, so we will wait out here in the car while you give your talk!”"

“"Fine, be that way!”" He replies.

So he goes into Church while his family stays in the car. As he sits down and waits for his turn to speak, he thinks it over and realizes that his wife is probably right. Talking about water skiing in Church? What was I thinking?!! So he goes to his back up plan. He gives a talk on adultery. After he gives his talk and the session ends he goes back to the parking lot to get his wife and kids and to apologize for the way he acted. But before he could say anything to them the Bishop comes up and turns to his wife and remarks,

“"Your husband gave one of the best talks in Church. I mean there wasn’'t even a dry eye in the room after he finished!”"

The wife stared at the Bishop incredulously and said,

"“You must be joking! He’s only done it twice. Once with my mother and once with my sister and couldn'’t get up either time!!”"