The IRS Audits A Gambling Grandpa

November 19, 2014

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.

The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, Which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Grandpa. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."

Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.

Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."

Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

"Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he ends up urinating all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!"

All Jokes Previous Joke Next Joke

Click Here For The Most Popular On Sunny Skyz

feel good videoYou Won't Just Hear This 'Stand By Me' Cover—You'll Feel It in Your Soul

feel good storiesOnce Thought Extinct, This Prehistoric Bird Is Thriving Again In The Wild

feel good storiesGrandma's Hilarious Response To A Cat Photo Has People 'In Tears' Laughing

feel good storiesThis Scottish Village Lets Local Kids Design Their Christmas Lights

feel good storiesRare Red Panda Triplets Born At Nebraska Zoo

feel good storiesIs It An Alien Or An Animal? This Photo Has Everyone Stumped!

feel good videoYou Won't Just Hear This 'Stand By Me' Cover—You'll Feel It in Your Soul

feel good videoThe Most Adorable Alarm Clock: Wife Sends 5 Golden Retrievers To Wake Up Husband

feel good videoAbandoned By A Trainer, She Survived 5 Months In The Wild. Watch The Beautiful Reunion

feel good videoThis Giant Dog Keeps Getting 'Stuck' And It's Too Funny

feel good videoLittle Girl In High Heels Sings To Golden Retriever, And His Face Says It All